Can Liberals Survive the Apocalypse? This is Funny!

 

these days. It’s hard enough to,

I feel like the world is ending North Korean missiles, rising sea levels, and we’ve just entered the sixth season of Vanderpump rules, which may be why there’s a new group worried about Armageddon. Does he lie to has more

doomsday preppers? They are a paranoid army of them. Conservative right wing patriots, angry at the liberal establishment, arming themselves to the teeth for the apocalypse. It’s time to be prepared. We can fight off a tyrannical government meeting. This guy, I went deep into the wilderness to meet Rick Austin, a veteran right wing prepper, who believes

Hillary Clinton is running the biggest crime syndicate in the world.

So he’s fortified himself in an off the grid compound because doomsday could be just around the corner and he’s serious even with his guy in office. But now there’s a new type of pepper joining the ranks of fringe, anti-government, reactionaries. I am a liberal prepper.

You can’t trust the government with your rights. Are you sure you’re not a conservative? Yes. What’s the MSNBC lineup go Rachel Maddow. Chris Matthews make it Kozinski. Well done.

This is a real dude. A liberal prepper who’s part of a growing movement of thousands of liberals planning for the end of civilization, and we protected his identity because he’s worried

under Trump, this could end up becoming a modern civil war,

but there can’t be that big of a difference between these two camps at survivalists. Right? Sure. The right wing has had a few more years to prep, but I’m sure that they’re basically on the same side.

Liberals are going to be the first ones to die because most of them are afraid of guns. How many guns did you buy? I don’t have a gun. Awesome. It’s done. Well. She do want to get three quarters inches and chops. So are you preparing for the apocalypse or an anime convention? Actually, this is absolutely practical.

What you need is a Katana. That’s a stupid they’ve ever heard of.

Well, why don’t you draw that? Bang, you’re dead.

Okay, but you know what? You’re not accounting for the 30 seconds when you’re going to be like, Whoa, what a cool store. Luckily our liberal prepper was very well trained.

I have not trained with my Katana. You’re not trained? Not at all.

Okay. But at least he studied Kung Fu panda.

If you spin around like a tornado, you can suck your enemies in towards the blade and slice them to this.

So conservatives are definitely more well armed, but prepping is also about supplies, right? You need a bug at bat. That’s right. A cammo backpack full of food. Shelter and yeah.

Oh, right. A vibrator. Not a vibrator. Oh, right. Sorry. Personal massager. This is a LifeStraw now she got a neck cancer. [inaudible] cancer. The first thing I would abandoned in the apocalypse and all sincerity, you might have to eat one seriously.

Maybe this guy really was prepared in addition to the bag. He had a foolproof escape plan.

My plan is to high tail let’s you have a west side of the Rockies and meet the other people who have the same plan. Yes.

Have you talked to anyone else with this plan? No. Shouldn’t part of prepping be finding out if other people have this plan, if it’s dependent on other

people having this plan? A yes, but talking about your plane is not typically what a preference would do.

You don’t want to like go on national TV and talk about it? No.

Okay.

But Kung Fu panda isn’t the only liberal prepper. The movement was catching fire. There’s even a hit belay survival companies own $5,000 luxury bug out bags. But who would buy something like that been Aflac is a client. Ben Affleck has a bag. You have been Aflac when Batman has a doomsday bag, you know where and this bag had nothing but the absolute necessities. Mass brothers, chocolate caviar and a champagne Cousy. Ooh, love that. And it comes with a champagne. So after I sold a kidney to a guy named water and drop five gs, I was finally ready to show Rick Austin that liberals can be just as prepared for the apocalypse as conservatives. You get it? That’s useless. That’s worthless. That’ll last two minutes. That’s not gonna work. This won’t work. That’s a piece. How about this? Hoecker that is the most useless thing I’ve seen. You’re right. I’ll just play online poker with what? Uh, my phone doomsday scenario. The phone’s already dead.

It’s okay. I was going to upgrade it to the eight anyway.

What’s that? How would a conservative replace my bad-ass liberal survival bag? I can show you how to set up a shelter with just a rain Poncho. I’m going to crawl down in here.

Okay.

Sorry. How long again? Do you have to stay under there? You can stay down here asleep all night if you want it to. Cool. Okay. While you stay in there, I’m just going to keep doing some prepping.

What was that?

You can live in this indefinitely. Yeah. To keep you warm. Will it? And a wow. That’s so cool. Uh, harder than prepping is exhausting, but if the world is empty, you can’t both sides at least prep together as Rick prepared some ramen noodles. I was determined to give it one last shot. Maybe in the apocalypse there won’t be conservatives and liberals. They’ll just be people that survive. Exactly. And Dead Liberals.

Right.

I think the, the noodles are done. So Am I. Does he lie to everybody?

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